Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
