I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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