Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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