HIV tests are more positive than that guy
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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