He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
