Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
