Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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