The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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