I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I party with great urgency now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
