yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
