one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
