i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it because I queefed?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
