so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
