i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He passed out mid-signature
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize