Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
