Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
