Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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