you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
