i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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