I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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