THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
