is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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