you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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