the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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