EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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