The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
