ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
