It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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