he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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