its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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