I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
