waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
