okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
