I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
