Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
