Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
