He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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