What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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