Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
