So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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