and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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