I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
