I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
