Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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