No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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