yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
