Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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