Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
