All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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