you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
