finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I fill condoms, not promises.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
